Always Abby. Didn't see Abby this past weekend. But that's to be expected as I saw her twice the previous weekend. The world might stop spinning if we got together two weekends in a row.

We swapped emails today about our plans for the upcoming holiday weekend. Abby has family coming into town and they'll be spending the weekend at the family's lake house about 45 miles outside the city limits. Abby wrote that if I'm staying in town that I'm welcome to go with her on Saturday. Hmmmm.....

 
Lunch Date. I met Mary for lunch today near downtown. We tried out a relatively new restaurant whose theme is to be an upscale New York city deli. The food was good but the restaurant's appeal is more likely it's themed decor.

Lunch went well and we talked like old friends with not a single lull in conversation. However, I didn't find myself physically attracted to her nor did I sense any sparks occuring on her side of the table. That doesn't mean the lunch was wasted time. On the contrary, I think we both enjoyed getting to know each other and now we each have another friend in this mystery city.

All is not lost though. Sunday my 4th match that I'm interested in returned my call from last Thursday. I'll try to call her tonight or tomorrow and see where it leads.

 
Saturday Lunch. After getting in a great morning bike ride I showered and drove to Jane's house. The weather was perfect for outdoor dining so we went to a restaurant that has plenty of outdoor tables. Things went pretty well at lunch and conversation flowed fairly well.

When I moved to this city four years ago I rented a house and part of the deal was that I would care for the family's dog for the year. The dog turned out to be a great companion. She's a mutt but mostly border collie. She has a great personality, is eager to please, obedient, and except for the time that her caretaker (I) made the mistake of changing her food she never pooped in the house. The one culinary mistake resulted in several days of unhappiness for both of us.

Jane and I drove to the family's house and picked up the dog to take her for a walk in a nearby park. I learned that Jane is not much of a dog person. She doesn't dislike them but she clearly didn't fall in love with my dog which surprised me because everybody likes this dog.

So, other than not being a dog-person and a bad habit of questioning my driving, Jane seems pretty cool. (I do wish, however, that she'd informed me about the black speck of food that was stuck between my teeth all afternoon). She left today for work & vacation and won't be back until August so things will have to be on hold until then.

 
Happy Hour. After work Friday I went to a happy hour that Jane had arranged. I got there two minutes too late to get the seat next to her. About 15 of her friends and acquaintances were there. Jane had invited two women that she'd met at the fast-date event. That was a little awkward for me as one of them was one of my matches that I've decided not to contact. She's a perfectly nice woman but not my type: she's very artsy.

The happy hour was great and most of the group stayed for about 3 to 3 1/2 hours. Jane's pretty clever as she got one of her friends to drive her to the happy hour and then asked me for a ride home.

Neither of us ate a meal at the happy hour so by 10:30 we were both pretty hungry. We grabbed a pizza at a nearby restaurant and took it to her house. After eating the pizza we talked for a while and slowly sat closer and closer to each other until somehow our lips were touching. Things stayed fairly innocent, no clothes were removed and nothing was unhooked. A short time later I left but not before we made plans to have lunch together the next day before she left for her trip.

 
I went on the Wednesday night bike ride two nights ago. I enjoyed the ride but I was disappointed that biker chick (future Mrs. Singleman) didn't show. Her job involves travel so she's not able to make it every week. The other downside was that the ride leader turned out to be a fan of long steep hills and chose a painfully hilly route. I'll avoid that ride leader in the future.

Arriving home around 9:30 that night I found that one of my matches, Mary, had called. Mary is the woman that I talked to before the fast-date event started. After a quick shower I returned her call and we talked for close to an hour. As soon as I brought up the topic of getting together she mentioned that she's booked solid this weekend. But she's not working Monday and recommended that we meet for lunch that day. Perfect.

 
Justice Scalia believes that the court's decision invites years and years of litigation. An excerpt...

Still other suits may challenge the bona fides of the institution's expressed commitment to the educational benefits of diversity that immunize the discriminatory scheme in Grutter. (Tempting targets, one would suppose, will be those universities that talk the talk of multiculturalism and racial diversity in the courts but walk the walk of tribalism and racial segregation on their campuses--through minority only student organizations, separate minority housing opportunities, separate minority student centers, even separate minority-only graduation ceremonies.)

Looks like U. of Michigan's lawyers will have plenty to work on over the next few years. And it's nice to see liberal Michael Kinsley write...

But confusion seems to be a purposeful strategy. The court's message to universities and other selective, government-financed institutions is: We have fudged this dangerous issue. You should do the same.

 
Over in the corner Jonah Goldberg writes that fans of preferences for "favored" minorities in college admissions are celebrating the S. Court's decisions.

Plus, they keep saying things like, "the court has issued a clear message" and "a solid majority of the court supports affirmative action" etc etc. Well, I could swear that when the Supreme Court ruled in Bush V. Gore it was a "narrow," "bitterly divided" and "highly partisan" decision. I guess decisiveness is more subjective than I thought.

The affirmative action thing has gotten so extreme that a university president in my local paper proudly admitted that his university pays extra for dark-skinned professors and that they've set up a special fund to do it. Shouldn't this be something to be ashamed of rather than proud? America 2003, isn't it great?

 
Josh Marshall at TPM writes...

Even if the consequences of going into Iraq turn out to be good -- and that seems to be an open question, though I think it was and to a degree remains possible -- it's wrong to have deceived the public to make the policy happen. It's wrong to have damaged the country's intelligence agencies. Let's not even get into the damage that was done to the country's standing in the world. It's also wrong for the political opposition not to say it was wrong, even if the short-term political consequences are uncertain or even damaging.

Although I'm much more certain than Josh is about the consequences of going into Iraq being good (e.g. kids getting out of Saddam's prisons, protests in Iran etc.) I agree with the quote's primary point. However, I'm not ready to concede that the administration willfully misled the country.

 
The Plans. Monday night I talked with Jane on the phone. She has invited me to meet her at a Friday happy-hour. A wide range of people have been invited and Jane says that I should feel free to invite others. There's several festivals in town and a good chance that some of the happy-hour group will venture out to one of them. That's probably the last time I'll see Jane until August as she's leaving town for the month of July.

Last night I spoke with the blond-mom. She was more shy on the phone than I remembered her being in person. But it's probably not easy to call a guy that you barely know--especially after working all day and spending an hour stuck in traffic. Over the course of 20-30 minutes I learned that she's been divorced for about a year, she and the ex- are on good terms, she has two young children (young being < 6 years old), she's in her low 30s, she's college educated and holds a professional position with a large publically traded company and that I enjoy talking with her. She is going on a family vacation next week so if we get together it won't be for a couple of weeks. I couldn't ask her out for this weekend as those nights are already booked. I think the call went well so maybe there's date potential here.

 
How does Instapundit find so many interesting stories? I just read this post about how close Pvt. Jessica Lynch came to being executed by the Iraqi's. Fascinating.

 
Abby Again. Abby left a message on my machine Sunday morning saying that she'd be working on projects around her house today. I wanted to get in a long bike ride today so I rode the 15 miles from my house to hers. I'm sure she loved that I showed up sweaty and smelly. On the other hand, she probably didn't mind as she'd been working in the yard and was fairly sweaty herself.

We drove to a local sub shop to pick up a late lunch. I looked *great* in my bike shorts, multi-colored jersey and bike shoes. It's funny that an outfit that looks perfectly normal while you're on the bike looks completely rediculous when you're off the bike. We ate lunch on the back deck of Abby's house. The weather was perfect and her house has a great backyard. It was an all-around great weekend.

 
Saturday Date. Saturday night I went on a date with one of the women I met through fast-date. Her name is Jane. The date went pretty well. We had dinner at a restaurant in a historic district that has several bars and restaurants. The appetizer we shared was excellent but the entrees were mediocre. The service was very good and the atmosphere was perfect for a first date. The weather was nice so after dinner we walked down the street and had a couple of drinks at a bar that had a nice outdoor courtyard with a guy playing acoustic guitar. Conversation flowed well all night.

I drove Jane home around 1 am and walked her to her door. She didn't invite me in (which was fine) but seemed to go out of her way to make sure that I knew she'd had a great time and hoped that there'd be a second date. If it's up to me, there'll be a second date. I told her I'd had a great time, kissed her and said goodnight.

Other News. I emailed the blond-mom on Friday and she replied a few hours later with her phone number but said she can be hard to reach as she doesn't always have it with her. I haven't spoken with her yet as when I called today I immediately got her voice mail.

 
Friday with Abby. Friday night Abby and I made our prescheduled trip to the mall. She helped me to pick out a gift for a friend whose wife recently had twins. After the mall we had dinner at a mexican restaurant including drinking a couple of margaritas. Although the hours at Abby's new job are the same as at the old job, she's much happier and less stressed. She was a lot of fun. After dinner Abby suggested we go back to her house and drink Margaritas there. Abby didn't make it to far into her next drink as she said the alcohol was triggering a migraine. Abby showed me her collection of Grateful Dead bootlegs and told me tales of going to Dead shows in her wild 20s.

Around 12:30 both of us were exhausted. I accepted Abby's offer to stay the night. Our bizarre relationship continues as again we shared a bed and nothing of a sexual nature occurred. You know how after sex with someone you're crazy about you lay in bed intertwined, talking, joking, and laughing until you fall asleep. Well that's what it's like with Abby but without the sex. And that's also what it's like in the morning for the first hour that we're awake.

Abby did have a funny story from her new job. She was working on her birthday. One of the male partners asked her how old she was. When Abby said "35" the partner blurted out "so are you freaking out about the whole baby thing?" He apologized later.

 
Paying Dividends. I called one of my matches. She's low 30s, never married, no kids, native of the area, talkative and seems really cool. We're going out tomorrow night.

 
The Matches. I was pleased to see that all three women I mentioned in the original post put me as a Yes. I also got a yes from a woman that I was borderline on but she made a point to talk to me during the first break and that tipped the scales. Another Yes is from a woman that is a graduate of the university where I teach. I don't have a very good memory of her. My final match is a woman who I didn't make any notes about (I was very bad about notes) and I don't really remember her.

Let's be realistic. Just because you have six matches doesn't mean you'll get six dates. I think that at this point all people have done is narrowed the field from 30 to something more manageable. The next step is to actually make a date with one of these women. I'm sure that each of these women had multiple matches and I may not be at the top of any of their lists.

I've emailed and heard back from two of the women that I mentioned in the earlier post. Both sent their phone numbers (per my request) and told me to feel free to call them next week. I will probably email the blond-mom today but I have the feeling I won't hear back from her. I have no explanation for feeling that way other than that I didn't think our 3-minutes together went very smoothly.

 
The Fast-Date Results I got my results in an email last night. Assuming the email is accurate I must have been one charming guy that night. Out of the 9 women I marked as Yes, 6 marked me as Yes.

But the really shocking number is that there were 15 women who put me as Yes who I put as No. That means that 21 out of 30 women that night saw me as a dating possibility. Why is this shocking? Because I'm an average looking guy at best. Women like tall, dark and handsome. I'm short, pale, red-haired and fairly bald. Maybe this is evidence that most women don't care whether a guy has hair or not. Or maybe my competition that night was really bad. Maybe the women were casting a very wide net. Whatever the reason, I'm flattered.

 
Fast Dates. I recently attended one of those fast-date events. I think they're doing these all over the country now because I saw it on Oprah last Christmas (No I don't watch Oprah----I was at my parent's house and my mom was watching it). Here's how it works: they get about 30 single guys and 30 single women together at a bar. Each person is given a number. The women are given designated seats around the room and then the guy with the same number sits with the woman. You get to talk to this person for three minutes. Then a bell rings and the guys move to the next woman's table. Over the course of the night you get to talk to each person one-on-one for 3 minutes. Of course that's not enough time to get to know someone but it's generally enough time to rule some people out of consideration. At the end of the night you turn in a piece of paper and for each of the 30 or so people that you met you mark either "Yes" or "No". If the other person put you as a "Yes" also, then you receive the other person's email address.

One nice face-saving thing is that if you put Yes for woman #22 and she puts you as a NO, she never finds out that you had put her as a Yes. They do tell you, however, how many people put you as a Yes that you put as a No. I guess that's to make you realize that you were too picky.

The night I went there were a few more women than men (nice for me!). The age range of the women was from low 30s to mid 40s. I didn't pay any attention to the guys so I can't attest to their quality but they seemed to be upper 30s to low 40s. Everyone seemed to be pretty outgoing as there was a lot of mixing going on even before the event started. I talked to a couple of women that had come together. I hit it off pretty well with one of them and I put her as a Yes even before the official "dating" began.

My first date was awful. The woman spent the entire three minutes digging in her purse for a pen. All over the room people are engaged in coversation, she's digging in her purse. During one of the breaks she came up to me and apologized. She said she hadn't realized that we'd "started". I thought that was a classy move. But she still got a "no" on my list. No chemistry.

The thirty women that I met were fairly diverse---not ethnically, but age wise, appearance, job, kids vs. no kids, divorced vs. never married etc. I tried to be fairly selective and only put Yes for women that I could truly see as girlfriend material. There were many women that I found physically attractive and would probably be great to go out with but which I knew after three minutes that it was highly unlikely that we'd ever be a couple. That knocked out a few attractive women who said they had older kids. I still haven't given up on the idea of having my own kids so I figure I better limit myself to childless women or those with one (maybe 2) young kids.

The most common questions were "have you ever done this before?", "what do you do for fun?", "what do you do for work?", and "are you a native of the city?". Yes, those might be dull questions but generally a person's answer to any of them opens the door to more interesting topics. A few women asked how old I am and most thought I was younger than 37. That's nice to hear. And, although I'm 37 it still catches me by surprise when women ask if I have kids or if I've ever been married. But I guess by 37 most guys have done one or both of those things so it's a reasonable question to ask. God knows my mom's favorite question to me is "when are you going to get married?"

The only weird "date" of the night was with a woman who told me about her husband cheating on her last year and how she threw him out of the house and now the kids don't talk to their dad etc. That's not the kind of thing that you bring up in the first 3 minutes of meeting someone. Clearly, she is not ready to be dating.

One piece of advice I'd give the operators is to expand it to 4 or 5 minutes per date. I read in one city it's 10-minute dates---which would be too long. Obviously the longer the dates, the fewer the people you'll meet as you just run out of energy after a while. But three minutes is too short, especially given that part of the 3-minutes is eaten up by trying to write notes about the person that you just talked to. If you don't write notes (and I was pretty bad about it) then later it's hard to remember the person.

As mentioned, I put Yes for the woman that I talked to before the event started. She's low 30s, cute, professional job, very outgoing and seemed to have a great attitude about the whole event. She came up to me after the event was over and talked to me a little more. Very cool. I put Yes on the second woman that I met that night. After the event ended she also came over to me and talked for a couple of minutes. That was a good move on her part because although I already had her as a Yes, I now have a very vivid memory of who she is. I put Yes for one woman that has 2 kids. I found her very attractive and she had a great smile. We'll see whether she wants anything to do with a never-married 37-year old dude. I also put Yes on a woman for which I didn't take any notes and now I can't remember anything about her. Oops.

Bottom line: I put Yes on 9 of the 30 women that I met. Does that sound like a lot, a little or just right?

 
Once-a-Month. Keeping with the tradition of seeing each other one time per month, Abby asked if I'd like to get together Friday night and I said yes. We've already planned that the night will start with a trip to a local mall because we both need to buy gifts for friends. Oh the excitement that is my life.

 
I'm back from my trip. Busy day today as one of my colleagues has asked me to teach her 3-hour class tonight and I've got to prep for it. I'll post about my trip along with stories about my experience at a recent fast-date thing that I attended---a little strange, but definately fun.

My profession tells me it's wrong to complain so I bite my tounge and complain on this blog instead. My colleague is teaching a summer course that meets a total of 10 times. Divide her pay for this course over 10 meetings and we're looking at $500 a night. I'm teaching her class tonight. Shouldn't she throw me a little of that $500? If the roles were reversed, I'd insist on compensating her. All I got was an "I owe you one" which is nothing because in my four years at this school I've never asked anyone to cover one of my classes. Even when I'm sick I time my drugs so that I'm coherent for the 2-3 hours necessary to do the job---then it's back to bed.

Assume the chamber of commerce asked me to speak (fat chance) and was going to pay me $500. Further assume that I wasn't feeling well and asked someone to fill in for me. Wouldn't common sense suggest that I should give my replacement the $500?

Go ahead, tell me I'm wrong and how awful I am to feel this way. But please note that when she needed a replacement it was automatically assumed that I'd do it. I'm just that kind of guy. Amazingly, everyone else had other things to do tonight. Sure they did. Sure they did.

 
I won't have access to a computer this week. I'll be back Friday. Have a good week.

 
Sat. Hill Ride: 1 hr 16.5 minutes, BH: 8 min 7 sec. (Best time ever: 7 min 9 seconds, August 2002)

 
Friday night I went to a going away party for M that was arranged by people that he works with. The party was at an Italian restaurant across the street from their office tower. About 25 people showed up and many were clearly sad that he was leaving the company. At the party I was introduced to a really cute girl, she's blond, pretty eyes, nicely dressed and around 27 years old (too young for me). M says that the girl is "super religious" as if that were a bad thing. However, she must have been fairly wild before finding Jesus because M says the girl has one tatoo on her thigh and another on her upper chest. You'd never guess it by looking at her at this party.

I tried to flirt with her and get to know her. Although she was friendly I could tell I wasn't making any kind of impression on her.

I left the party around 7 pm and rushed over to a high school to watch two of my friends, Kelly and Julie, play on a church softball team. They lost 18-9. The other team had a great infield and even turned a double play once. Kelly's team doesn't take the game very seriously so they didn't care about getting clobbered.

Friday: Hill Ride: 1 hr. 16 min BH: 8 min 11.5 seconds

 
No Wednesday Night Biking. I couldn't attend tonight's Wednesday night bike ride because I had to go to a going away party for M and his wife. The party was at a neighbors house and there were tons of little kids running around. It was kind of nice and reminded me of my own childhood. On the other hand, how do people deal with kids on a daily basis without being constantly exhausted?

 
My black eye is healing very slowly....so slowly that I don't think it looks any better. Of course, it's quite the conversation starter. Everyone who sees me asks how I did it. I need to come up with a more exciting story than that a tree beat me up.


Hill Ride: 1 hr 16 minutes, BH: 8 min 24 seconds.

 
Black Eye. I was cutting some limbs off of a tree in front of my house when the freshly-cut end of a limb caught me just below the eye. It didn't hurt much but it must have popped a blood vessel because now I've got a black eye. I wonder how long I'll have to walk around looking like a lost a bar fight.




After the exciting trip to the hair salon I went on a date with L. Around 7:30 I went to L's condo where she had prepared dinner for us. L is an attractive, smart, outgoing, funny and kind woman. After dinner (which was very good) we saw the movie Anger Management at a theater in her neighborhood.

 
New Hair! Cindy has dark brown hair with a hair style too mature for her age. Combined with her pretty, but pale, face I figured there had to be a better look for her. I tactfully suggested that she lighten her hair for the summer. She said "it's expensive" and asked if I'd pay half. I told her that if she'd do exactly what I suggested that I'd pay for it. Hey, I didn't realize what I was saying or that she'd really take me up on it. But she remembered my offer and took me up on it.

Good news: Both the new "cut" as well as the highlights look great. Bad News: I don't think the stylist lightened it up enough and I think Cindy should go even lighter next time. The really bad news: it cost me $99. Oh well, what are friends for?
Update. One of my female friends from grad school told me that I shouldn't have helped Cindy with her hair. She said it's offensive and that if I'd suggested something like this to her when we were dating that "...my nose would be coming out the other side of my head" or something to that effect. Ok, I surrender. I won't make this mistake again.

 
Because universities compete with each other to attract the top black and hispanic students and because there currently aren't enough of them to satisfy the demands of "diversity" John Rosenberg argues that the government should regulate the market for these students. That is, recognize that this is a limited resource and create a fair system of allocating those students among universities. Of course, this means that some of these students will be forced to attend colleges of which they did not choose but so what? As John's other posts show, "diversity" is a more important goal than the petty desires of individuals. Diversity goals, by necessity, elevate the importance of groups above that of individuals.

 
Sunday Hill Ride: 1 hr. 17 min 12 sec. BH: 8 min 20 sec.