The Weekend Plans. Tonight--date with Abby. Saturday night --- open. Sunday -- open. Should be a good weekend to get work done.

 
Andrew Sullivan takes apart a NY Times editorial that again argues for the U.S. to do nothing in regards to Iraq.

The Times believes that Saddam is evil; that he is a real threat to the region and the West; that he has and is trying to gain more wepaons of mass destruction, and that the U.N. inspectors cannot disarm him. But the Times also believes that, even after eleven years of Saddam's defying the U.N., that war should not be an option, that diplomacy can remove Saddam, that the French and Germans should have a veto over American foreign policy, and that time is on our side. That's their position. It is as incoherent as it is cowardly; as weak as it is afraid.

 
U. Maryland Students Caught Cheating with Cell Phones. (found via Erin O'Connor). I'm convinced that cheating is rampant among college students today and that professors need to do more to make cheating difficult (e.g. multiple versions of tests, watching the students during the test rather than leaving the room or reading). I found the following quote in the article to be a good sign...

The number of Maryland students caught cheating has risen recently, from 97 cases in the fall semester of 2001 to 156 cases in the fall semester of 2002, Zacker said.

Because I believe cheating is rampant I don't interpret the increase in cases as an indication of increased cheating, rather I think that it suggests increased vigilance on the part of maryland professors.

 
Traffic to S.o.W. Doubles in one Day! Glenn Reynolds may have more visitors---but did his traffic double today? I don't think so. The sitemeter says that my new visitors found their way here through bloghop. The front page of bloghop has icons for 10 randomly selected blogs. My little cowboy icon was one of today's front-page options.

 
A Brief Reprieve. I called Cindy last night and we talked for a good while. She told me that she was taking today off from work because her child had strep-throat. I'm not sure how easy it is to catch strep throat but I prefer to not take any chances. If you've read this blog for a while you might recall that I was sick January 1 thru the 17th. I can't take a chance of catching another illness as I'm already a couple of weeks behind at work. Thus, no seeing Cindy this weekend and I can delay making any decisions for another week.

Abby called earlier today to say that she cannot come over tonight due to having to work late. Probably for the best as I should work late myself to complete my committee assignment from previous post.

 
Losing my mind. This morning at work I had a 3+ hour committee meeting. The 7-member committee is charged with reviewing the performance reports of 14 different departments. I wrote up the committee's summary for my own department and handled questions from the other members. I think I did a good job of protecting my department's turf---which isn't difficult as we are clearly the strongest department.

After the committee finished discussing my department I relaxed as I thought my heavy lifting was done. But then the committee chair said "ok, let's next look at Department Z. Brian, you wrote a review of that department as well, right?" Whoops! My first thought was "He's joking, right?". But he wasn't. I have no recollection of agreeing to write a review of that department but the other members seem to recall that I volunteered for the job. I guess I'll be working late tonight.

 
I'll never get a job as a juggler. Tonight I'm trying to figure out what to do about my dating life. Let me first pause and thank God that I have a dating life to even worry about. That said, I like Abby a lot (as if you couldn't tell) and I don't want to screw that up. As of tonight, I've got plans with Abby to go out Friday night with one of my friends (kelly) and some new guy that she's dating. Kelly is a great woman and very outgoing so Friday should be a lot of fun.

The minor dilemma is what do I do about Saturday night? Cindy called last night and I have no doubt that she is expecting me to ask her out for this weekend. I could ask her out for Saturday night. But then what if Abby and I have a great time on Friday and she asks me if I'd like to get together again Saturday (as happened last weekend). Clearly, I need to keep Saturday open. But how do I do that without burning the bridge with Cindy? And by the way, I'm a terrible liar, so let's only use fibbing as a last resort.

 
One more Abby story. The night I spent with Abby.......One of the times that I came back from a trip to the bathroom, Abby pushed up against me and then rolled onto her back. After she did this she quietly moaned four times in succession (very sexy) and then went silent. The next morning she asked if she'd talked in her sleep and I told her that although she hadn't talked in her sleep, she had moaned in her sleep and that she must have been having a very good dream. She smiled, turned and as she walked out of the room said "hmm...I must have been dreaming about eating chocolate cake." Right.

 
SuperBowl Bets. It's a little late to post this now, but I won $5 on the superbowl! My bet was Tampa Bay +1 at half-time. Since TB was up at half-time, I became $5 richer.

That $5 win offset my $5 loss in my friend's betting pool. In the pool you had to answer 20 prop bet-style questions about the game (e.g. Will Jerry Rice score a touchdown? Which team will throw an interception first?). I got exactly one-half of the questions right which I understand is completely unimpressive. The winner answered 17 out of 20 questions correctly and won a $300 pot which I think is very impressive.

 
You Can't Have Everything. A couple of weeks ago I had my 3-date weekend. Out of those three dates the one I liked the least, Cindy, is the one that seems to like me the most. Dating would be so much easier if everyone's level of attraction to each other lined up perfectly. Anyway, Cindy called last night but I just wasn't in the mood to chat with her so I let the machine get it. Why can't Jane be the one calling me on a Monday night?

 
Ok, call off the war with Saddam. Janeane Garofalo says the war isn't necessary. She says that it's just the corporate media people looking for something to get their ratings up.

"These same corporate entities have an interest in war, have an interest in profiting from war. They represent corporate America. Corporate America dictates the news we are getting."

You see, we aren't as smart as Janeane. She sees through the corporate news and gets the real story while idiots like you and I get fooled. If only we were as smart as she is. And why shouldn't we hang on every word of the woman that makes such brilliant statements as "Now that I'm sober I watch a lot of news." Idiot.

Update: Cut on the Bias has a very funny and detailed take-down based on the same article.

 
Super Bowl Sunday. Abby and I watched the superbowl at the home of one of my best friends. He and his wife prepared dinner and we brought the dessert. This was the first time Abby had met any of my friends. Everything went smoothly as I knew they would as my friends are great and we all share the same sense of humor. Abby spent a good bit of time playing with my friends' young son. So much so that my friends asked her what her babysitting rate is. Hmmmm....good with kids......gotta like that.

 
Warm water vs. Cold water - Which freezes faster? At a recent happy hour several people stated as fact that warm water freezes faster than cold water. To my logically inclined brain this didn't seem possible. As the warm water cooled, wouldn't it at some point resemble the cold water? And therefore, doesn't the cold water have a head start?

Google to the rescue! I typed in the question and up came answers here and here.

 
A Small Backfire occurred Saturday from my scheduling two dates in one weekend. Sleeping over at Abby's Friday night left me thinking about her for most of Saturday. I was experiencing that high that you sometimes get when things are going right in a relationship. Around 5:30 pm Abby left me a message on my answering machine saying that her plans to spend Saturday with family members had fallen through due to her sister coming down with a cold and to give her a call if I wanted to get together. Of course I wanted to see her but I already had a date scheduled with Cindy.

I picked Cindy up at 7 and for the first 20 minutes or so I really struggled to get my mind off of Abby. After being a crappy date for the first 15 minutes I committed myself to being a good date for Cindy. I told myself that Cindy deserved my full attention. I think from that point on I did a good job of fulfilling my side of the dating bargain.

 
Sleeping Double Part II. As noted, Friday night was the first time I'd slept with Abby. And, as noted, the room was cold and we made use of each other's bodies for warmth. Three times during the night I had to get up to use the bathroom (alcohol ~ dehydration thing). Each time I climbed into bed Abby would shift her body towards me in search of warmth. After my third trip to the bathroom I was left with only about 8 inches of room on my side of the bed. This left me with a few choices: 1. push the sleeping Abby back onto her side of the bed, 2. try to climb over her so that I can sleep on the other side of the bed (small size of cluttered bedroom precluded me from walking around to the other side), or 3. wake her up and ask her to move over. I went with #1 using a full body pushing approach. Given that all three choices were bad, this choice at least had the advantage of being fun for me.

 
Sleeping Double on a Brutally Cold Night. Another fun, yet strange, date with Abby last night. Dinner, movie & drinks. Dinner was at a local trendy tex/mex place and food was excellent. Movie was an artsy film (Real Women Have Curves) that although received 3-1/2 stars from Roger Ebert----Abby and I both thought wasn't very good.

As we pulled into the driveway Abby said that given how late it was that I was welcome to sleep in her guest bedroom. We went inside and in the short time it took me to use the bathroom Abby changed into her non-sexually suggestive sleeping attire---sweatshirt, sweatpants and socks. She looked very cute, but not sexy. The thought of sleeping in one of the guest bedrooms when my own warm bed was a mere 20 minute drive away was not appealing. So I said "how about if I sleep in your bed with you and we'll keep each other warm." Abby said "sure" with the same tone she would use if I had asked to use her telephone.

While Abby was brushing her teeth I climbed into her bed which garnered a funny look from her cat. A few minutes later out went the lights and into the bed came Abby. She snuggled right up against me and into very close-quartered spooning position. Although we'd still not yet kissed---ever--- it felt perfectly natural to wrap myself around her. As we talked quietly and laughed over various subjects I let my hands roam around Abby's body. I was careful to avoid those parts that traditionally are not shown on network television. Why avoid those parts? I'm not entirely sure as I certainly had an interest in exploring those areas. But I was enjoying just being close to her and didn't feel a strong desire to turn the night into a sexual escapade. When I hold back like this, it's typically a sign that I really like the person.

Seems a little backwards, doesn't it? The more attracted I am to a woman from a dating standpoint, the slower I like to take the physical part of the relationship. I figure why rush through the sometimes too-brief stage where I'm excited by the small things like having my arm around her, holding her hand or feeling her chest against mine as it swells and shrinks with each breath or the smell of her perfume as she presses her face into my neck to warm her cold nose. I say don't rush it. Enjoy it.

 
The Weekend Plan. Tonight is a date with Abby which will involve going out to dinner followed by something yet to be determined. Saturday night I have a date scheduled with Cindy. What's that you say? No 3-date weekend? No. That was a one-time fluke. SuperBowl sunday will hopefully be spent with Abby.

What about Jane? Two Sundays ago I had a first date with Jane. I called her one night this week but didn't catch her at home. I think our date went well and I'd like to see her again but it remains to be seen whether the feeling is mutual.

 
Women are Sharp. I have to learn to be careful about what I say to women early in relationships. A while back Abby asked me what some of my favorite movies are. I immediately said that my favorite movie of the past year is About A Boy with Hugh Grant. I told her how one of my friends thinks that I'm similar to the Hugh Grant character. My friend was talking about the fact that Hugh Grant's character is content to live alone, has a very flexible schedule, and has no trouble filling up all that free time. There's probably some similarity to me in that respect. However, if you've seen the movie, you also know that Hugh Grant's character is a shallow womanizer. I like to think I'm not shallow and I'm not smooth enough to be a womanizer.

I guess my comments stuck in Abby's head because she told me that she'd recently looked for that movie at the video store so she could get some insight into who I am. Thankfully the movie wasn't out yet. I've told her that because it's my favorite movie that she can't rent it without me. I figure I can do damage control if I'm there to watch it with her.

 
Amazing! Abby and I have somehow gotten into the habit of a brief phone call each day during work. Yesterday we made plans for her to come over to my house, have dinner, hang out etc. As usual, something went wrong at work, she got out late, didn't get to her house until 8 pm which meant it would have been 8:30 before she'd arrive at my place, she had to be to work early today, yada yada yada we cancelled. No big deal. It's just comical how many times she and I make plans together that then get screwed up somehow.

 
One of the women (Cindy) that I recently went out with has a 6-year old son. I was a little surprised that the woman introduced me to her son when I picked her up for our date. It's not that I have a problem with meeting her child, I'm just wondering whether it's a good idea for single parents to introduce their young kids to their dates. On Monday night Cindy invited me to her home for dinner. I didn't ask ahead of time but the dinner turned out to be the three of us. After dinner we all watched a video together. I was ok with that, but again, I'm not sure that Cindy should be having family-style dinners with a guy she's only been on one date with.

I've been dwelling on this issue since that night and today came across this article. The "experts" quoted in the article seem to take my view which is that the kid(s) shouldn't meet mom's dates until the relationship is serious.

Unlike teenagers, men and women should not meet for their initial dates at their doorsteps if the children might be home, she adds. "Musical-chairs dating in front of your kids sends the wrong message. They wouldn't understand that you're just meeting new people, and you want to be a good role model, teaching respect about dating."

Once a few dates with the same person evolves into a relationship, Schneider suggests eventually casually dropping the person's name into conversations, such as "I saw a funny movie with my friend Bill. It's all a matter of pacing. Introductions have to be very slow," says Schneider.

 
Does marriage ruin your sex life? On the plane to LA I read an essay in the Atlantic Monthly called The Wifely Duty. The author reviews several recent books about the absense of sex in many marriages. I've never been married and one reason is that I'm afraid that I'll end up in a sexless marriage. It's not that I have a huge sex drive (i don't), but I know I'm the kind of person who could become complacent and let the sex part dwindle. Parts of the article depressed me, but I really like the author's attitude and she fills the article with great lines. You should read the entire article but here's a taste....

The rare woman—the good wife, and the happy one—is the woman who maintains her husband's sexual interest and who returns it in full measure.

In reference to the idea that couples should periodically "give it a go" even if they aren't in the mood...

.....as Davis and her "new" findings suggest, once you get the canoe out in the water, everybody starts happily paddling.

and would guys get more sex if they helped out around the house more?

The men who cave to the pressure to become more feminine—putting little notes in the lunch boxes, sweeping up after snack time, the whole bit—may delight their wives but they probably don't improve their sex lives much, owing to the thorny old problem of la difference. I might be quietly thrilled if my husband decided to forgo his weekly tennis game so that he could alphabetize the spices and scrub the lazy Susan, but I would hardly consider it an erotic gesture.

 
Eyebrow Theory. One of my friends at the conference shared with me one of his "unique" theories about women. He thinks that you can look at a woman's eyebrows and get a good indication of whether her pubic hair is coarse or soft, thick or thin. Interesting theory, no? I wonder how we can collect reliable data to test this theory.

 
LA Conference. I had a great time at the LA conference. The weather was fantastic and the hotel was across the street from the beach. The conference skews heavily to male/nerdy/over 35 but there are always a few very attractive women. This year there were 3 new such women and they were getting a lot of attention from the men during the receptions. I didn't make any effort to talk to them as all three were sporting wedding rings---why waste the flirting energy, right?

I did, however, attend a session in which one of the women did a presentation. I've come to realize that attractive women are at a slight disadvantage when giving presentations at conferences. To be honest, the first 5 minutes of the presentation I didn't hear anything the woman said because I was too busy looking her over and wondering what it would be like to date her (not that there's any chance of that happening). By the time I was ready to listen to the content of her speech I was lost.

 
Erin O'Connor discusses on her blog a story from Texas A&M where administrators are bent out of shape that some students had planned a "ghetto party." An english prof (Portales) at the school is quoted in the school's paper as saying "...You are, in effect, assaulting people. You are misrepresenting them. You are making fun of people." He then recommends that students involved with the party be suspended.

Somehow this jackass got a job on the faculty of a major university and yet thinks students should be expelled for making fun of other people. Portales believes the themed party is "damaging" to the university.

I believe that tenuring a professor that fails to understand the basics of our constitution is far more damaging to Texas A&M than some students making fun of each other at an off-campus party. Rather than spending money on sensitivity training, I would rather see funds spent to educate university professors about the constitution of the United States. And I would like to start with Mr. Portales (I can't bring myself to use the title professor in reference to this man).

 
Don't rely on your friends. Saturday I was staying at a fancy beach resort south of LA and needed to arrange a shuttle ride to LAX. I called my room and asked my friend to dig into my briefcase and find my printed flight schedule. He dutifully did so and reported that my flight home was at 8:45 am. Ouch! I arranged to ride the 6:30 shuttle.

Sunday morning I struggled out of bed in the darkness of 6 am. I made it to the shuttle just-in-time and arrived at LAX at 7:15. The ticketing agent acted surprised that I was at the airport so early. Why? Because it turns out that my flight NUMBER was 845 and that my flight TIME was 11:30 AM. So rather than sleeping an extra 2 hours in my $175/night bed with an ocean breeze gently sweeping through the room, I slept 2 hours on the thinly carpeted floor of an LAX terminal.

 
West Coast Trip. I'm off to LA for a conference and therefore, there likely won't be any posts until Monday. Thanks for reading and those of you that have become daily visitors, I hope you'll come back next week.

 
Thursday Update. Abby came over last night for dinner. I had picked up some prepared foods from a local fancy grocery store and popped them in the oven an hour before her arrival. She didn't fall for the "no, really, I made this dinner myself" story. Can't get anything past her. After dinner we watched a movie and she went home around 11 as she had to work the next day and she' d been up since 5:30 am. It was nice hanging out with her.

 
Never-ending Cold. Day 15 of 2003 and that means it's day 15 of Brian's cold. I went to the doctor today. My normal doctor wasn't there so I had to see another doctor who turned out to be an attractive female (sexy and brainy - my favorite combination). She asked me to remove my shirt, she looked deeply into my eyes and while I did my best to suck in my stomach she touched my chest and back [cue cheesy porno music and let your imagination run wild].

After our "special moment" together, the doc said that my throat is red and irritated but that I have no signs of a bacterial infection. My strep-test showed negative. She said it's likely a viral infection in the sinuses that is just taking some time to beat---if you're not better in two more weeks, come back. TWO WEEKS!!!

 
Follow-up to the follow-up. I phoned Abby today and invited her to my place Wednesday night for dinner. One of the things I like most about dating is that feeling of anticipation you get when you've got a date arranged with someone you're attracted to. It just makes the world seem a little brighter.

 
Gotta Follow Up. One of my least favorite parts of dating is making the follow-up phone calls. Today I called Jane and left a message reiterating that I'd enjoyed our date and that I'd like to see her again. I also called Cindy and talked with her for about 20 minutes. She invited me to her house for dinner some night after I get back from LA. I accepted her invitation. I plan to call Abby at work tomorrow to see if she'd like to have dinner with me Tues or Wed night. I fly to LA on Thursday. I'm looking forward to getting away from my cold city and spending a weekend in LA where the high on Friday is predicted to be 75.

 
Sunday Date - the details. Sunday's date was with a woman named Jane. Jane is an attractive woman in her mid-30s, never married, no kids with one dog. I picked her up at her house around 7 and met the dog. Jane is somewhat shy and I didn't know her very well before the date. Conversation during the drive to the restaurant was somewhat strained. I asked several open-ended questions that were met with too-brief responses. Thankfully, the further into the date we went, the more relaxed and talkative Jane became.

Dinner was at an upscale restaurant that neither of us had been to before. It turned out to be a good choice for the date. The service was attentive, good atmosphere, noise level conducive to conversation, and the food was excellent. The bottle of wine that we shared did its job of helping conversation flow. I found that the more I learned about her the more attracted to her I became. After dinner we went for a short walk and stopped into a small pub for a couple of drinks. Unfortunately about the time of the second round, my cold started to make its presence known.

I drove Jane back to her house and again conversation struggled a little---not due to lack of topics but because my throat was scratchy and it was difficult for me to talk. I walked Jane to her door, told her I'd had a great time and that I was looking forward to seeing her again. After a nice embrace (damn this cold!) I returned to my car for the very long drive home. On the bright side, traffic is light at 1 am.

This concludes my first ever 3-date weekend. Although each of my dates went well, this very likely was my last 3-date weekend.

 
Sunday's Date - the results. The odds makers were right again---there was no "action" on Sunday night's date. The evening ended with, you guessed it---a hug. Despite that, the date was a blast.

 
Good Morning. My date for tonight called me this morning---a very pleasant surprise. My first thought was that she was calling to cancel but instead she was calling to offer to meet me at the restaurant rather than me picking her up at her house. The reason for her offer is that she lives on the opposite side of the metro area from me--we're talking 45 minutes without traffic. She figured meeting at the restaurant would cut 20 minutes off my trip each way. It would, but since this is Sunday, traffic should be light and I like the idea of picking her up at her home for the first date.

 
More Abby. Despite getting off to a bad start, the date went really well. Things started off bad for me as my cold came back on Saturday. I had to take with me a pocket full of cough drops and decongestents --- very sexy I know, what's not to love about a coughing man with a runny nose?

We threw out the dinner/movie idea for a dinner-go back to Brian's house and see what's on cable. Had dinner at one of those italian places with the wood-fired pizzas. After dinner we went to my house which Abby had never been to before. I've lived in the house for over a year and this weekend was the first time I'd had a date back to my house---and then to have 2 dates in a row at my house! After a tour of the house, we sat on the sofa, drank water, took drugs (Sudafed for both of us) and sucked on cough drops.

We watched a terrible movie on Lifetime. All movies on Lifetime seem to have one of two plots: 1) women being beaten up by a man--usually a guy with a substance abuse problem or 2) a woman's child is kidnapped and she fights to find/retrieve said child. The movie last night followed the first plot line. The executives at Lifetime definately know what appeals to women because although the movie was awful, Abby couldn't take her eyes off the screen. Drove Abby home shortly after midnight and we hugged goodnight---both laughing at the unspoken fact that despite being physically attracted to each other and going on several dates, we've yet to kiss. Something always gets in the way.

 
Saturday's Date with Abby -- the results. The odds makers were right, there was no "action" for Brian on Saturday night's date. The date ended with a hug, and as you know, hugs don't count as "action" under Vegas rules----or anyone's rules, right?

 
NFL Playoffs - Go Jets! To recover from yesterday's devastating $10 loss, I've bet $15 on the NY Jets. I was too late to get a bet in on the SF/Tampa Bay game but I'm sticking with my pick of TB.

Update: I was 1-3 in my NFL football picks and 0-2 on the games that I actually wagered. Good thing I only bet small amounts.

 
NLF Playoffs - Go Titans. I've placed a huge $10 bet on the Titans at -4 points.

Update: Ok, so I'm 0-2 on my NFL picks. The damn Titans only won by 3 points and Atlanta got blown out by Philadelphia.

 
New Odds for Saturday's Date. The odds of Brian getting "action" have shifted for Saturday's date with Abby to 5-1. As of Friday, Abby reported feeling much better. Current plan is dinner & a movie. Yes, that sounds cliche, but I haven't been to a movie with a date in months so I'm looking forward to it. A potential problem is that last night's date ran much later than I anticipated and I didn't get enough sleep. I believe this is the reason that my cold has reasserted itself today and now I'm back on the Sudafed. So, fatigue and a reemerging cold virus have significantly worsened the odds for Saturday's date. But, as always, will do my best.

 
Friday's Results - Date with Cindy. Those of you who were brave enough to bet that Brian would get some action on his Friday date, well, you're a winner! After a nice dinner, Cindy and I went back to my house to watch a video. After giving her a tour of my house, including the flowerly wallpaper in the masterbath (which she agreed should be changed), we returned to the living room sofa. With the only light coming from the television, the fireplace and the Christmas lights strung along the bannister, Cindy couldn't help but be overcome by my charms. More likely, she was already attracted to me and I avoided saying anything stupid that would change her mind. :)

 
The Dating Playoffs. It's a big dating weekend for the single guy. Kicking off Friday night is a first-date with Cindy. Saturday's date is with the lovely Abby. AND, for the first time in the history of my dating life, I have a third date lined up for the same weekend. This one will take place on Sunday night. More on that later. For you gamblers out there, Vegas odds makers report that the odds of Brian getting any action are 8-1 on Friday, 2-1 on Saturday and 35-1 on Sunday. FYI - hugs, hand-holding and any kiss lasting less than 30 seconds do not constitute "action" under current Vegas rules.

 
The Football Playoffs. I haven't made any bets yet but here are my picks for the four NFL games --- Titans (-4), Atlanta (+7 1/2), TampaBay (-5 1/2) and Jets (+5 1/2). An academic study showed that the advantage of being the home team is underrated in betting spreads for playoff games. During the 90s, if you'd only bet home teams in playoff games you would have won around 60% of the time. Despite that study I'm picking Atlanta and the Jets to cover the spreads in their respective games.

 
Are men more jealous than women? This item from the NY Times Magazine says "no".

When it comes to betrayal, the tradition goes, men fear sexual infidelity, whereas women fear abandonment. According to evolutionary psychologists, all these archetypes reflect some basic caveman economics: a man, it is said, must keep a careful watch on his woman lest he end up hunting and gathering for the offspring of some other man's gene pool, but a woman can forgive indiscretions as long as her mate cares enough to return to her and the little ones back at the cave.

This year, some prominent psychologists have challenged those assumptions about pining women and seething, controlling men with new evidence that suggests sexual jealousy is an equal-opportunity obsession. David DeSteno, a psychologist at Northeastern University, administered a questionnaire asking subjects which would be more upsetting: to learn that their partner had cheated on them or that their partner had fallen in love with someone else. And while the subjects were answering, he gave them a string of numbers to memorize and recall. With the addition of this so-called cognitive load -- a technique that aims to bypass complex pro-con reasoning and cut to the gut response -- the gender discrepancy that previous researchers had found disappeared altogether. ...when deprived of the chance to weigh the long-term effects or to guess what response might be the more appropriately feminine, women proved just as brutishly possessive as men.

 
Where's Betty? A good question. Before Christmas we had a great date and even swapped Christmas presents. Last week we had a typically great phone conversation but when I asked her out for Saturday night she said she was going snow skiing but that she'd call if that fell through. (Note that I was not invited to go skiing.) I never heard from her again. I haven't called her this week for a couple of reasons 1) I think she should call me (petty? sure), and 2) I can't ask her out for this weekend and I think it will be strange if I end the call by saying "ok, see ya later". Betty is a really cool woman, independent (clearly), intelligent (has a doctorate degree) and keeps herself in great shape. That said, I don't think she and I have that special something that is necessary to sustain a long-term relationship. Although I don't want it to be, this may be the end.

 
Why don't you and Abby go out during the week? Early on we scheduled a few dinner-dates on weeknights and each got cancelled for various reasons. Our work schedules were complete opposites and she was working tons of overtime which didn't get her out of work most nights until late.

At one point I began to suspect that Abby had another guy in her life and that I was her #2. I find it incredibly unromantic to "talk" about dating stuff but after the Christmas party I asked Abby whether we were dating or were just friends and she assured me that she was interested in dating and expressed surprise that I had doubts.

 
Some things aren't meant to be. In an earlier post I noted that in the two months that I've known Abby, we've had a total of 3 dates. We postponed our first date of 2003 last weekend due to my cold. Our next date is supposed to be this coming Saturday. Well, guess whose sick now? Abby says she'll be better by Saturday but I'm not counting on it. The stars are aligned against us. If she's too sick to go out this weekend,then it may be a couple of weeks before we see each other because the next weekend I'll be in Los Angeles attending a conference.

 
The Call. Last night I made the call to the woman who had left me the message on my answering machine over the holidays. Her name is "Cindy". The current plan is to go to dinner on Friday night. I barely know Cindy so this is likely to be a get-to-know-you kind of date. Hopefully, I'll be healthy by Friday.

 
A dateless weekend has passed. My cold doesn't seem to be getting any better and it's zapped my motivation to get the work done that my employer pays me to do..

E-mails. On the bright side, I got two good emails on Sunday. One is from the woman that left me the phone message over the holidays asking if I'd like to go out (see post below). I plan to call her tonight. I'm not sure if she's my type but I'm trying to be open-minded. The other email is from a very pretty woman I'd met in mid-December and had exchanged a couple of emails with. After just two emails she disappeared----until yesterday.

 
Straight guys can't decorate. I went to Home Depot today and flipped through books on home decorating. I bought a 4 BR house 18 months ago and I figure it's time that I start personalizing it. The master bedroom is huge with a cathedral ceiling. The problem is that it has a flowery border going around the top and the master bath has a flowery wall paper. It's not super-girly but it's clearly wrong for a heterosexual male. Since I'm hoping to someday have female overnight guests I figured I'd better change it. After spending 20 minutes looking at books and paint swatches I can say that I don't have a clue as to what I should do with the bedroom. I'm able to identify the things that I don't like but I'm not making much progress on identifying what I do like.

 
The Steelers suck too! Yes, I know, they won their game against Cleveland, but I needed them to win by at least 7 points!

 
The Packers Suck. I just got home from having a long dinner with three friends. I got on the internet and found that the Pack lost to Atlanta 27-7 and cost me the $10 I'd won yesterday.

 
I can't date you because you're too smart. The Atlantic Monthly's website has an interview with a woman who has written a book about women in their 30s trying to find husbands. This quote caught my eye...

Several women mentioned that at times in their life they felt that their intelligence or intellectual achievement seemed to work against them in their romantic relationships with men, but most women felt that there were some men "out there" who would be attracted to smart women. The problem was finding them.

I hear women say this and I always wonder whether they really believe it. I don't know any guy who ever stopped dating a woman because she was "too smart". I think that when women say this they are not facing the reality that some guy they liked in the past just wasn't attracted to them *period*. I guess that it's easier on the ego to tell yourself "It's because I'm too smart".

 
Answering Machine. While out of town during the holidays I didn't check my messages on my home phone. I can't remember how to check the messages and I lost the manual years ago. I had 4 messages. Three messages were telemarketers but one was from a woman that I'd met last month in a bar. I only talked to her that night for about 15 min but when we discovered that we live within 1 mile of each other she suggested that we swap phone numbers.

We did swap numbers but I hadn't called because 1) I had no free time as it was right before the holidays and 2) she's at least 4 inches taller than I am. I always assume that tall women aren't attracted to me--which I guess says more about how I see myself than how they see me. I've dated women an inch or two taller than I am (my last girlfriend was 2 inches taller) but never this much taller.

The message was left last Saturday and was asking if I wanted to "go out" that night. Cool. I like bold confident women. I'm sorry I missed that call.

 
Parlay. Riding high from my big $10 win last night, I'm going to try to double it by putting the $10 on GreenBay (-6.5) against Atlanta. GB is at home on the cold tundra vs. Atlanta that plays most of its games in a nice warm dome.

 
OhioState vs. Miami. My bet for tonight's football game is for Ohio State to not lose by more than 11 points. Yes, Miami could blow them out but I'm counting on Ohio State's size to keep the game close.

Update: Ohio State beat Miami 34-27 and I'm $10 richer!

 
Quarantine. This cold that I've picked up is a nasty one and has ruined what I'd hoped would be a triumphant return to the big city. I'll delay seeing Abby or Betty until I'm healthy so as not to get either one sick. On the other hand, I don't have the same concern when it comes to my friends. A group of them is getting together Saturday night and assuming I don't get any worse, I plan to attend.

Talking to Abby on the phone today she remarked how my job is so flexible that I could date several women at the same time. Hmmmm...coincidence or intuition?

 
Confusion. Prior to leaving for the holidays I had two great dates, one Friday with Abby and one Saturday with a woman I'll call Betty. I have been out with Abby 3 times and Betty 6 times over the past two months. Neither woman knows about the other. Nor do I know whether they are dating other men. I wouldn't be surprised if they are as they are both intelligent and attractive.

My dilemma is that I wasn't able to catch Betty at home over the holidays and thus, haven't yet spoken with her. Ideally I would like to arrange a date with her for Saturday night. Once that's settled I want to arrange a date with Abby for Friday or Sunday night.

You may think things are great for me having two women to go out with. Well, it's not as great as it sounds---and get those images of wild sex out of your head. In fact, it's often stressful. Neither woman seems to be crazy about me but I guess they're interested enough to keep accepting dates with me. Both women have careers that keep them fairly busy. Their lack of free time is one of the first hazards I've found in post-30 dating. Note that I've only been out with Abby three times in the two months that I've known her. The small number was not due to lack of effort on my part. Rather, such things as illnesses, out-of-town work trips and holidays (thanksgiving & Xmas) have kept us from meeting. I've tried to maintain a steady phone contact but like most guys, talking on the phone isn't one of my favorite passtimes.

 
Back Home. Made the very long drive back to town on NewYear's day. Traffic was light the entire way making the trip go smoothly.
Back in early December I put $300 into a sports betting account. Not that I know much about sports, but betting a few bucks makes games more interesting. During the drive I listened to a couple of the bowl games. I lost a bet on PennState (-5.5) against Auburn. Things looked good early but Auburn came back and won the game outright. That loss was offset by a win on my brilliant selection of NC State to beat Notre Dame. Current betting account balance: $379.